Well, I don't have any earth-shattering stuff to talk about this week. I have to admit, I'm not used to taking so much medicine. But if it helps me to feel better, I'm all for it. I just wish it would hurry up and work.....
We always have interesting conversations at Supper Club and Thursday night was no exception. Yeah, we talked bladder infections. And wouldn't you know, that is what was making me feel so bad! I went to the eye doctor Friday morning because I was seeing "flashes" of light in my right eye. Nothing wrong with my eye, but he suggested I talk to my doctor about migraines. Well, since I was going to the doctor (PA actually) anyway that afternoon....so now I have antibiotics for the infection (# way-too-many), old people medicine (anti inflammatory) for the headaches, and Imitrex (or something like that for migraines), plus the allergy medicine from last month. So after getting my prescriptions filled, I headed up to Petit Jean for a family week-end. I think it was the first time I had been to PJ and NOT hiked. The rest of the fam hiked but I just did not feel like it. I really didn't do much besides rest. We did go to the pool, but I just sat in the sun (with sunscreen on) and watched the kiddos. I came home Sunday (via Target in Conway), napped (missed church), and was ready to go to bed at 7pm. But I stayed up, and then couldn't go to sleep......oh well. I went home at lunch today, and managed a little nap.
By the way, a big thanks to Kami and Lara for a wonderful Supper Club!!! I wish I had felt better and could have enjoyed it more. They fixed such yummies - grilled chicken, grilled pineapple, grilled corn on the cob, rice, spinach salad, rolls. And a really yummy dessert - strawberry shortcake like the Bulldog. I think some of it was healthy......Lara?!?!?!
In other news, I felt like such a disappointment at Supper Club when I was asked about Scott. I hesitated, and heard a collective "awww Katie! not again...." But I told them it wasn't ALL me - I just mentioned the Australia thing. I haven't seen Scott since last Tuesday. We've text messaged a little, and emailed today. At this point, I don't have high hopes for anything more with him.
And, I'm getting out of the movie recommendation business. If someone doesn't like a movie I recommend, that is fine with me. I never recommend something that I think they'll hate. On the contrary, I only try to recommend things that I think they will enjoy. But when people are a bit rude and judgemental when telling me they didn't like a movie I recommended, well. And to add to my soap box today, God gave us TWO ears and ONE mouth for a reason. I think we'd all be better off if we tried to really listen instead of talking so much, instead of interrupting with 20 questions. Now that's off my chest for the time being.........
Monday, June 25, 2007
Monday, June 18, 2007
Thinking in circles.....I'm getting dizzy!
A big thanks to my sweet friend Nancy this week. I haven't seen Nancy in years - probably the last time was at Spring Sing of my Junior year at Harding (1996) but we've kept in touch some by email. I shared my blog with her and she has emailed me back. Thanks Nancy for giving me pointers, your opinion, and your support. I can't tell you what that means to me. I'm planning on trying out some of your topics tonight. I think we'll have time in the car on the way to the lake - haven't really been alone much to ask much this week. But then, I guess we don't have to be alone - I guess I just feel more comfortable one-on-one.
Do you ever have days when you think you're just such a loser? When you feel like you don't do anything right? When you just want to cry? I'm sure you do - I know I do. I was so down last Wednesday and I wrote my Mom. I kept telling her that I was asking her opinion, to go ahead and tell me what she thought. So when she called me Saturday afternoon - to answer a few questions she said - I was like, good. The timing was not great, but oh well. But she only answered the 2 "light" questions I had (anyone need a twin frame and mattress set?!?!). Didn't mention everything I was struggling with. But she did email me and said she was writing me so at least I know she heard me. I also wonder - how did I get this way? Surely I wasn't always this difficult!!! Is it just my selfishness? Being alone so much, so long? Not knowing basic personal/communication skills (that has been suggested by others)? I know I'm not anywhere near perfect, but I guess when the truth glares at you it is hard to ignore.
I know I've mentioned this before, but I'm not a good talker. Oh, if you get me going I can talk. My best friend Elissa is probably best at reading me - she knows sometimes what I'm going to do, months or weeks before I do! She also takes the time to get me talking - not an easy feat sometimes - and really listens. Maybe it's just that I'm lazy sometimes, maybe because I don't want to "ramble on and on," maybe I just need encouragement and a listening ear. When I get tired or stressed, it's worse. I'm probably not as honest in communicating either - my first reaction to "how are you?" fine - even when I'm not. To "what's wrong?" - nothing. Why am I so fearful about what I say? Why do I not open up easily? I hate being the center of attention, but then I do want to say things that I don't say. Why do I worry so much (that must be an inherited trait from my Grandma Moss!!!)? Stuff like: getting my masters (should have gotten it already), retirement (am I putting enough back? - probably not), am I doing a good job?, am I being a good daughter, sister, friend? Would I be a good wife even though I know it would be huge adjustment but worth it? or would I be better off single? I know, you have worries too - about spouses, about raising good christian kids, making the right decisions, jobs, retirement, thinking about things you may encounter in the future, etc.
So, this post may not make much sense. My mind runs in so many circles these days that it's hard for me to make sense of it sometimes! Scott is different from the other guys I've dated. Most of them I got to know through email first (yes, most of them I met online!). And since it's easier to "talk" on email, that may have made a difference. By the time I actually met them, I already knew a lot about them and felt like I'd known them awhile. With Scott, we started from scratch - the old fashioned way! With some of the guys I've dated, they were always eager to spend time with me and I didn't wonder what they thought about me. I have no idea what Scott thinks about me. I said I was just taking this as it comes, being patient. I didn't want to be high maintenance or bug him all the time, so I pretty much let him lead. I figured if he wanted to see me, he would call or email. And he did (not as often as I was used to!). But I think I just wondered what was going on for so long, that I'm still wondering if he's happy dating me, if I'm boring (even I think that a lot, and I get so frustrated!), if I'm adventurous enough, pretty enough, deep enough. I think he smells good - but I haven't ever told him that even though I've thought it. But I guess that does sound rather trivial. Let's see - I liked what Lara wrote - he just seems like a very kind person - and he is. He's very thoughtful of other people - waiters and car hops and friends. He has probably made me think more, get out of my comfort zone more, and learn more than anyone else I've dated. I've been way more adventurous (or maybe just less fearful - or maybe just trying something new because he wanted me to try it). There are times when I'm not just all that excited about going to the lake, but I'm always glad I did. I guess I've thought, well, I may not get to see him otherwise. He even told me his "love language" several weeks ago, so I've tried to be more "gifty" - I've enjoyed that process for the most part. But I fear my artistry is not that good - but I hope that he least could tell that the picture on the card was supposed to be his boat at sunset. But since he mentioned the 5 love languages, that got me to thinking about mine. I didn't even know what mine was (you would have thought I'd have figured that out earlier this year when I was reading every book I could). I thought I could narrow it down to 2. So I went to Hastings with a piece of paper and a pencil (I couldn't find the book at the library). I went through the profile at the back of the 5 Love Languages. But that wasn't much help since it was for husbands and wives (it kept saying your husband this, your husband that, and I can't imagine that!). But there was another love language book - the 5 Love Languages for Singles (which I had read once). So I tried that one out and felt much more comfortable - and got a better idea too. My primary language appears to be "quality time." And second is "physical touch." I probably smothered my parents with hugs and kisses growing up, but after you get away from harding huggers, it's hard and I really missed that. I think I crave that - I love shoulder and back rubs, holding hands, tickling. But when I get out of the habit, it's harder to just reach out and touch someone. But I like quality time - I can be happy just spending alone time with someone, sitting on the couch, driving around, whatever. But then I start getting nervous about not talking enough. It's a cycle I tell you. I could just sit with Dad and be perfectly happy. We didn't have to talk too much - although when we did share good conversation, it was great. I could just sit there and he was so patient to wait and see what I'd talk about.
Well, I guess that's enough rambling for now. Please don't think that I'm all weird or unhappy. I struggle. I wonder. I have no idea where I'm going most of the time. But I know I'm lucky to have great friends, wonderful family, a good job, fun times traveling, but most of all, I have Hope in Him. Take care and have a blessed day.
Do you ever have days when you think you're just such a loser? When you feel like you don't do anything right? When you just want to cry? I'm sure you do - I know I do. I was so down last Wednesday and I wrote my Mom. I kept telling her that I was asking her opinion, to go ahead and tell me what she thought. So when she called me Saturday afternoon - to answer a few questions she said - I was like, good. The timing was not great, but oh well. But she only answered the 2 "light" questions I had (anyone need a twin frame and mattress set?!?!). Didn't mention everything I was struggling with. But she did email me and said she was writing me so at least I know she heard me. I also wonder - how did I get this way? Surely I wasn't always this difficult!!! Is it just my selfishness? Being alone so much, so long? Not knowing basic personal/communication skills (that has been suggested by others)? I know I'm not anywhere near perfect, but I guess when the truth glares at you it is hard to ignore.
I know I've mentioned this before, but I'm not a good talker. Oh, if you get me going I can talk. My best friend Elissa is probably best at reading me - she knows sometimes what I'm going to do, months or weeks before I do! She also takes the time to get me talking - not an easy feat sometimes - and really listens. Maybe it's just that I'm lazy sometimes, maybe because I don't want to "ramble on and on," maybe I just need encouragement and a listening ear. When I get tired or stressed, it's worse. I'm probably not as honest in communicating either - my first reaction to "how are you?" fine - even when I'm not. To "what's wrong?" - nothing. Why am I so fearful about what I say? Why do I not open up easily? I hate being the center of attention, but then I do want to say things that I don't say. Why do I worry so much (that must be an inherited trait from my Grandma Moss!!!)? Stuff like: getting my masters (should have gotten it already), retirement (am I putting enough back? - probably not), am I doing a good job?, am I being a good daughter, sister, friend? Would I be a good wife even though I know it would be huge adjustment but worth it? or would I be better off single? I know, you have worries too - about spouses, about raising good christian kids, making the right decisions, jobs, retirement, thinking about things you may encounter in the future, etc.
So, this post may not make much sense. My mind runs in so many circles these days that it's hard for me to make sense of it sometimes! Scott is different from the other guys I've dated. Most of them I got to know through email first (yes, most of them I met online!). And since it's easier to "talk" on email, that may have made a difference. By the time I actually met them, I already knew a lot about them and felt like I'd known them awhile. With Scott, we started from scratch - the old fashioned way! With some of the guys I've dated, they were always eager to spend time with me and I didn't wonder what they thought about me. I have no idea what Scott thinks about me. I said I was just taking this as it comes, being patient. I didn't want to be high maintenance or bug him all the time, so I pretty much let him lead. I figured if he wanted to see me, he would call or email. And he did (not as often as I was used to!). But I think I just wondered what was going on for so long, that I'm still wondering if he's happy dating me, if I'm boring (even I think that a lot, and I get so frustrated!), if I'm adventurous enough, pretty enough, deep enough. I think he smells good - but I haven't ever told him that even though I've thought it. But I guess that does sound rather trivial. Let's see - I liked what Lara wrote - he just seems like a very kind person - and he is. He's very thoughtful of other people - waiters and car hops and friends. He has probably made me think more, get out of my comfort zone more, and learn more than anyone else I've dated. I've been way more adventurous (or maybe just less fearful - or maybe just trying something new because he wanted me to try it). There are times when I'm not just all that excited about going to the lake, but I'm always glad I did. I guess I've thought, well, I may not get to see him otherwise. He even told me his "love language" several weeks ago, so I've tried to be more "gifty" - I've enjoyed that process for the most part. But I fear my artistry is not that good - but I hope that he least could tell that the picture on the card was supposed to be his boat at sunset. But since he mentioned the 5 love languages, that got me to thinking about mine. I didn't even know what mine was (you would have thought I'd have figured that out earlier this year when I was reading every book I could). I thought I could narrow it down to 2. So I went to Hastings with a piece of paper and a pencil (I couldn't find the book at the library). I went through the profile at the back of the 5 Love Languages. But that wasn't much help since it was for husbands and wives (it kept saying your husband this, your husband that, and I can't imagine that!). But there was another love language book - the 5 Love Languages for Singles (which I had read once). So I tried that one out and felt much more comfortable - and got a better idea too. My primary language appears to be "quality time." And second is "physical touch." I probably smothered my parents with hugs and kisses growing up, but after you get away from harding huggers, it's hard and I really missed that. I think I crave that - I love shoulder and back rubs, holding hands, tickling. But when I get out of the habit, it's harder to just reach out and touch someone. But I like quality time - I can be happy just spending alone time with someone, sitting on the couch, driving around, whatever. But then I start getting nervous about not talking enough. It's a cycle I tell you. I could just sit with Dad and be perfectly happy. We didn't have to talk too much - although when we did share good conversation, it was great. I could just sit there and he was so patient to wait and see what I'd talk about.
Well, I guess that's enough rambling for now. Please don't think that I'm all weird or unhappy. I struggle. I wonder. I have no idea where I'm going most of the time. But I know I'm lucky to have great friends, wonderful family, a good job, fun times traveling, but most of all, I have Hope in Him. Take care and have a blessed day.
Monday, June 11, 2007
I love the lake!
I've never really been a big water person. I probably won't ever be - but that doesn't mean that I can't have fun. I'm not just real adventurous either but I've getting out of my comfort zone a little more. But I'm still having trouble with talking................. Maybe I need to think more or something. I think Scott had something to tell me on Saturday - but he didn't. He doesn't like "controversary" he says, so I'm assuming that whatever it was, it was something he had on his mind that wasn't warm & fuzzy. But he never told me what it was! I think I'm at that point now where I start thinking "maybe I'm not really what he wants/needs." Yes, I've done this before - maybe then it was just an excuse that I could use to break up. I don't know. Anyway, here are some pix from the lake this week-end. 
Friday, June 8, 2007
the Ladies & Dinner
I got to go to Hot Springs with 5 of my Extension Homemaker ladies - Tuesday-Thursday. We attended the Arkansas Extension Homemakers Council annual state meeting and stayed at the Embassy Suites (sweet!). I took advantage of their Spa Botanica.....and the massage was wonderful - wish I could have another one right about now! LaVerne, Shirley, Joyce, Pete, and Mary Ellen kept me hopping, entertained, up too late, and up way too early!!! But they were lots of fun too and even helped me plan a romantic dinner with Scott (if adding candles makes it romantic....). Pete insisted on the candles, mentioned it several times, so I had to use candles. And since I was using candles, I thought that I might as well use the china too. So after discussing what veggies to fix for dinner (Scott had mentioned that he needed more veggies), and after I dropped them off, I headed to Kroger. I even impressed myself with how well the black eyed peas turned out (must have been the bacon they said I just had to use). We had black eyed peas, corn on the cob (fresh - I even shucked them), cooked baby carrots, broccoli cole slaw (Mary Ellen recommended cole slaw, but I wanted something with more color), and fresh-homemade-from-scratch-in-Grandmother's-iron-skillet-cornbread. I wish I had taken a picture!
After dinner, Scott got out the old cappucino maker (probably 15 years old - hasn't been used in years!) and fired it up. He called Jason & Penny McGlawn, friends of his, and they came over. We all had cappucino and ice cream (Yarnell's Anniversary Cake - yummy!) and had a nice time visiting.
After dinner, Scott got out the old cappucino maker (probably 15 years old - hasn't been used in years!) and fired it up. He called Jason & Penny McGlawn, friends of his, and they came over. We all had cappucino and ice cream (Yarnell's Anniversary Cake - yummy!) and had a nice time visiting.
Monday, June 4, 2007
June has arrived!
Well, so far, June has been pretty good! Let's see - Friday was good because I left work early!! I went home and messed around. Invited Scott to dinner and had absolutely NO idea what to fix. I browsed through my trusty cookbooks, I tried to think really hard, I thought of things I had made before, but I was getting nowhere. So I decided that a trip to Kroger might help clear my mind and stir my creative juices. You know, when you go to a grocery store just to browse, you find interesting things.....but nothing was "coming to me." Until the phone rang.......
Scott was setting up the sound for a wedding on the front lawn, for the wedding in Cone Chapel, and for the dinner in the Founders Room. He called to see what I was doing (meandering around the Kroger store) and he mentioned that a cherry limeade would be really nice......so I said, "AHA!" Something to do - to put off making a dinner decision!!! So I hopped in my trusty blue vehicle and sped to Sonic. Then I went over to campus, parked, and walked around the Front Lawn looking for Scott (oh there he is - going the opposite direction on the opposite side of the Lawn......why DO they have those silly fences in the way?!?!). I strolled over to the Heritage and waited for him. We sipped our limeades and watched the goings-on, talked weddings (just in general!!), chatted with people, etc. He checked on the Cone Chapel & Founders Room before we decided to use my wonderful Gift Card from Doc's to eat! ahhhh. He went back to take care of the sound stuff, while I went home to change the shoes that were rubbing blisters on my feet! I headed over to his temp place (the Cronk's house) and we watched "Finding Neverland" - an interesting, yet somewhat sad movie. After the movie, we walked the dog (she snored during the movie!).
Saturday, we went to the lake with Lora & Lydia Fleener. I was a little uneasy about actually putting my swimsuit on and wearing it, but it was okay. I haven't worn in since I went to Hawaii in October 2003 (I think!). We played in the water, even though the weather was not that great, and we ate our picnic dinner. For you lake people, if you haven't found the Jitterbug coffee house yet, it's on Main Street in Heber. We were a bit chilled, so we stopped and enjoyed a cup of joe before heading back to Searcy. When we got back to Searcy, we went by the Johnstons to hear all about the Hurd-Sides wedding (one of the 3 weddings on Saturday). Jim had officiated, so we got to hear the good stuff.
On Sunday, we had talked about going back to the lake. But to be honest, I wasn't all that excited. I'm really not sure why..... I think I had to take things slowly and get used to things? I don't know. But anyway, when Scott called I was getting my things together and I'm so glad I went! Jennifer Hurd, her friend Karen, and Bill Spears went with us and we had a blast!!! Karen & Jennifer got on the tube and Scott pulled them around. I thought, "if they can do, I can do it!" So I did!!! And it was loads of fun. I was a bit nervous but Scott is a good captain. :-) And then, he got on the tube and I got to drive!! That was pretty fun too. We made it back to Jennifer's, loaded up her leftover BBQ and wedding cake, and went to the Johnstons for our Sunday evening ritual - eating and playing dominoes! Scott won last night, but I came in second - and even went out once! Wow.
It was an enjoyable week-end. I seem to stress about little things sometimes or worry about them. But whenever I get past myself, and my worries, I seem to have fun and I'm always glad!!!
Scott was setting up the sound for a wedding on the front lawn, for the wedding in Cone Chapel, and for the dinner in the Founders Room. He called to see what I was doing (meandering around the Kroger store) and he mentioned that a cherry limeade would be really nice......so I said, "AHA!" Something to do - to put off making a dinner decision!!! So I hopped in my trusty blue vehicle and sped to Sonic. Then I went over to campus, parked, and walked around the Front Lawn looking for Scott (oh there he is - going the opposite direction on the opposite side of the Lawn......why DO they have those silly fences in the way?!?!). I strolled over to the Heritage and waited for him. We sipped our limeades and watched the goings-on, talked weddings (just in general!!), chatted with people, etc. He checked on the Cone Chapel & Founders Room before we decided to use my wonderful Gift Card from Doc's to eat! ahhhh. He went back to take care of the sound stuff, while I went home to change the shoes that were rubbing blisters on my feet! I headed over to his temp place (the Cronk's house) and we watched "Finding Neverland" - an interesting, yet somewhat sad movie. After the movie, we walked the dog (she snored during the movie!).
Saturday, we went to the lake with Lora & Lydia Fleener. I was a little uneasy about actually putting my swimsuit on and wearing it, but it was okay. I haven't worn in since I went to Hawaii in October 2003 (I think!). We played in the water, even though the weather was not that great, and we ate our picnic dinner. For you lake people, if you haven't found the Jitterbug coffee house yet, it's on Main Street in Heber. We were a bit chilled, so we stopped and enjoyed a cup of joe before heading back to Searcy. When we got back to Searcy, we went by the Johnstons to hear all about the Hurd-Sides wedding (one of the 3 weddings on Saturday). Jim had officiated, so we got to hear the good stuff.
On Sunday, we had talked about going back to the lake. But to be honest, I wasn't all that excited. I'm really not sure why..... I think I had to take things slowly and get used to things? I don't know. But anyway, when Scott called I was getting my things together and I'm so glad I went! Jennifer Hurd, her friend Karen, and Bill Spears went with us and we had a blast!!! Karen & Jennifer got on the tube and Scott pulled them around. I thought, "if they can do, I can do it!" So I did!!! And it was loads of fun. I was a bit nervous but Scott is a good captain. :-) And then, he got on the tube and I got to drive!! That was pretty fun too. We made it back to Jennifer's, loaded up her leftover BBQ and wedding cake, and went to the Johnstons for our Sunday evening ritual - eating and playing dominoes! Scott won last night, but I came in second - and even went out once! Wow.
It was an enjoyable week-end. I seem to stress about little things sometimes or worry about them. But whenever I get past myself, and my worries, I seem to have fun and I'm always glad!!!
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)
