Risotto, Redecorating, and Real Friends

Waaaaaaaaaay back in the fall of 1994, on the second floor of Cathcart Hall, a friendship began. Elissa was not on my wing (I was an RA, she was a freshman) but I saw her a lot during room checks. She was really nice to the RAs and since she went home a lot – she let us watch TV in her room! What a treat!! We had master keys, so we made ourselves at home in her room, always making sure we had blankets because she kept her room so COLD. I didn’t really get to know her that well during the year. But at the end of the semester, we knew she’d be coming back as an RA. I met her dad (Mr. George) when he came to get her. Elissa lived about an hour and a half from where my parents lived near Mobile, so during the summer I called her. We got together in Long Beach, MS (where she lives) and had a great time. When we got back to Harding in August 1995, we naturally hung out with all the RAs since no one else was around. And when school started, Elissa & I were still hanging out….and becoming good friends. We were blessed to become such good friends in college and after. Picture - RA Christmas Party 1995. We were RAs in 95-96 in Cathcart with Aunt B, and then in 96-97, Aunt B moved to the New dorm – Searcy Hall and we followed. We were apartment-mates for a semester before she left to go to HUF. Elissa even made it back to Harding for my graduation. Through the years, we’ve kept in touch and traveled together even though we’ve lived hours apart (from 3-8 hours). Our first big trip together was April 2002 – right before I moved to Searcy. We’ve enjoyed our travels together!
April 2002 – Williamsburg, Virginia
April 2003 – Asheville, NC
October 2003 – Hawaii (we got to stay with Aunt B) Picture - at a Luau at the Polynesian Cultural Center
April 2004 – Savannah, Georgia with our moms
March 2005 – short trip to pre-Katrina New Orleans
May/June 2005 – Europe with my Mom
May 2006 – Alaskan cruise
September 2006 – Caribbean cruise
April 2007 – Washington, DC

Elissa arrived in Searcy at 2:00 a.m. Friday morning. What a drive!! We finally went to bed and slept late Friday morning. We messed around, ate breakfast, talked, drank coffee, and finally got dressed. We went to Little Rock to meet Mom, Patti, Laura, and the kids at Macaroni Grill for lunch. It was an enjoyable lunch catching up with each other, playing tic-tac-toe with Emily, watching Ethan, and eating yummy Italian!! Elissa and I went to Walgreens to stock up on poison oak remedies before heading to the nice west LR Kroger. We got Arborio rice among other things. We had to stop at Barnes & Noble – bathroom and coffee break. We were getting tired after the long night and the big pasta lunch! We got back to Searcy as the skies were turning an ominous gray…….and the rain came down just about the time I was going to the store to pick up a items for our risotto. I got wet, and then I couldn’t find dried tomatoes and fresh asparagus. So I improvised…..I just decided to try another recipe with ingredients I could find! We made risotto with blue cheese and bacon – it was delicious!!!!!!!!!!! But it’s not for the impatient or the short-on-time! We even had enough left over for Saturday lunch.

We got up Saturday morning, dressed, and picked blackberries at Anita’s. YUMMY!!! Elissa went to Heart & Soul to shop around while I ran a few errands. We finished off the risotto before heading back to LR, stopped in Jacksonville on the way at Starbucks! We went to Tuesday Morning, Garden Ridge, and some other shops. Elissa was helping me redecorate my living room a bit – just tweaking some. We didn’t buy much but had fun shopping til we dropped. By then, just driving around sounded good since we could just sit…….so we did a little of that and finally went to Murry’s Dinner Playhouse. We got there early and stood in line for a little while. But we got in, found our seats, stood in line some more to get food, and sat down! Ahhhhhh. We had plenty of time for more great conversation before the show began – Steel Magnolias. It was wonderful – funny, touching, sad, yet good. And the exciting thrills of conversation continued on the way home………..didn’t it Elissa?!?!

Sunday, we made it to worship service and then helped with the cradle roll class. Good thing Elissa was there to help corral the kiddos!! After a gas stop and another stop at Walgreen’s, we ate a good lunch at Los Montano (we’d already had enough Italian….). I napped for a while and Elissa took care of Gumbo (the cat got outside to run off the excess energy she’d been using to mess things up in my kitchen!). We got to church early so I could run the powerpoint and Elissa could check out our system for that. Noel had a great lesson on truth & lying. Thought-provoking. We went to Arby’s for a quick bite to eat before heading to the theatre to see “Harry Potter & the Order of the Phoenix.” It was pretty good, even though I’m not up on Harry Potter! Elissa had to leave Monday morning, but it was a wonderful visit – full of great conversation, laughs, fun, and togethertime.

Simple Pleasures

In an effort to be a bit more upbeat, here is a list of my simple pleasures. Maybe you'll be reminded of something good.....

• colorful sunsets
• hugs & kisses from Emily & Ethan
• getting cards in the mail, instead of just bills and junk mail
• fresh, clean sheets on my bed
• a massage
• hearing a favorite song on the radio and turning up the volume
• ice cream melting on warm blackberry cobbler
• the different colors of the world
• fresh pineapple
• daffodils, daisies, and tulips
• someone sending me flowers
• trying a new restaurant
• Italian food
• a good cup of coffee
• springtime rain
• the first cool days of fall
• falling leaves
• snow
• sunshine
• the wind blowing through my hair
• anticipation
• hanging out with Elissa
• hanging out with my sis
• going to Mom's for the week-end
• cute little pets
• Patsy Cline
• John Wayne movies
• that clean fresh feeling
• dressing up for something special
• hiking on a mountain
• watching the ocean waves
• traveling to a new place
• driving on a two-lane, exploring, & enjoying the scenery
• finding something good at a flea market
• a clean house
• leaving on a vacation
• coming home from a vacation to a nice, clean house
• Ella James singing "At Last"
• Harding basketball games
• Michael Buble & Frank Sinatra serenading on a romantic evening

thoughts, and good thoughts

I don't know Rachel all that well but boy, she's been on my heart the last few days. I can emphasize with her struggles some but not totally. I had one class with Jeremy - the last class I had at Harding. Some kind of literature class that Larry Long taught the summer of 97. It was a great class, and I only remember Jeremy because he was so nice (I don't remember another single person in the class). Oh yikes - that was 10 YEARS AGO!?!?!! ughhhhhhhhhhh

I've really been struggling with anger issues and I wish I knew why. I wonder if my physical problems (yes, still have a bladder infection and it's worse) have had a part in my emotional struggles. I've just been so down, ready to cry, just wanting to sleep and not do anything. It hurts that he moved on (or was he ever really that into me anyway?!). I keep thinking - why? Why did I find someone I really enjoyed, and he's just not that into me or just not ready for anything besides carefree single living? Why didn't he reply after my last email? I just hate feeling like I'm being ignored (which is how I feel when people don't respond). Am I just going to be single the rest of my life? I feel like I'm losing time here - that old biological clock ticks on and on. And I just date on and on occasionally. It seems like I've been close, but no cigar. I know, it's a learning experience and I've learned a lot. I keep telling myself that, and I believe it. But the reality is sometimes harder to live with. I get tired of thinking about it. But I can't seem to make my mind stop. My job is fun, but some days it's a struggle to actually go to work and stay there.

Oh well, enough complaining for now. I'm starting to buy myself. But I think I know now why he "hates dating." For those of you out there that are married, count your blessings while you pick up his dirty underwear!!! :-) Yeah, that's for you Lizzie. :-) For others, I'd say something like: count your blessings when he doesn't "see" those dirty dishes, when the kids walk in on you, when he says something that just sets you off, when he sings off key, when he puts his dirty clothes on the floor RIGHT NEXT to the hamper, when he leaves the toilet seat up, when he asks something like "why don't you pick up around the house more?" Brag about your spouse instead of complaining about him (at least some of the time!). Tell your friends what they mean to you. Reach out to someone. Let someone know you're thinking of them - even with just a card, a phone call, an email. I'm speaking to myself too so here goes with one anyway!!

Laura - I'm so glad you're my sister. From the days of being my "nurse" to playing with makeup (yes, I still remember how awful you made me look), from playing on the playground to playing the piano. Those days of playing school and chalkboard art, Sunday afternoons (cleaning the kitchen, playing "museum"). I always really enjoyed listening to you play the piano - Moonlight Sonata was my favorite. I always looked up to you, even when I outgrew you (he he). You may have been mean or mischieveous sometimes, but I guess I didn't care that much. When you went to college, I missed you oh so much (missed you driving me around too!). I was happy when you met John, and glad/relieved when you finally got engaged. I was thrilled to be your maid of honor, even if I didn't really like the dress all that much. You've always been my sister and best friend all rolled into one. You remind me so much of Mom most of the time, but I can still see Dad, and even Grandma Moss in you. You're a good mother to those cute little munchkins. You're a better cook than me. And you're so cute - social, talkative, warm, friendly, sweet. Even when you make me mad (like when you interrupt me), I'm still thankful to have you to talk to and hang out with. I miss you A LOT but I'm thankful we had about 4 years of living in the same town (as adults) - that was just way too much fun!!!

I don't have much to write this week. It has been a quiet week. My new Strong Women classes are going well. And my 5 o'clock class at WCMC has changed a bit - we're doing some other videos. On Monday, we did a Leslie Sansome (sp?) walking video. Yesterday, we branched out and tried a new-to-everyone belly dancing workout video. It was pretty fun. I even got out and walked some last night - not too far and not too fast, but it was nice.

So I have to admit that I sound more positive on here than I've really been. The days have been really long, especially after work. I watch the clock to see if it's time to ready for bed yet. Funny: last night, I was getting ready for bed, in my pjs, when I hear a knock on the door. I couldn't imagine who it could be! It was Staci, delivering some Arbonne!! Thanks Staci. Anyway, at least Elissa is coming and giving me something to look forward to. But I know I'll be pretty busy this fall with work, so I guess I should just enjoy the slow and quiet right now!

Well, hope you have a good week-end!

Saturday musings

Thanks for the notes in the mail Mom. I appreciated your thoughts, hearing what you thought, and the reassurances that I’m not alone, or as weird as I think I am sometimes. By the way, I even cleaned some baseboards and dusted today. But just in one room - I didn't let myself get TOO bored.

So, I’ve been on Facebook – obviously Scott hasn’t because he’s still listed as “in a relationship.” I keep wanting to make things for him – who can I cook for this week instead?! I can’t decide what to do about dominoes either. I kind of wanted to make a cobbler or blackberry yummies for them (since I didn’t get to pick last week and take something), but at this point, I doubt I’ll go. I think it would just be too awkward right now. Although I’ll miss seeing Jim, Kathy, Jennifer, and Bill. And Scott.

He asked me several times (when we were dating) if I was used to dating yet or if it still seemed weird. I guess it was easy for me to think of him and make him a part of my life. I was thinking today things like: I could go vacuum his boat out while he’s gone, would he like blackberry yummies (a cake with blackberries), I’ve been wanting to check out Village Creek State Park and we could rent bikes, maybe we could go to Quitman (to the little antique place) and then on to Woolly Hollow State Park or the elephant sanctuary (only on the first week-end of the month though), we still haven’t made risotto, I even picked up his habit of saying, “yeahhh,” etc. Yikes.

Then I wonder: Did I really try hard enough? Was he honest when he said he just wasn’t interested in dating or was he just saying he wasn’t interested in me? Was it just an excuse? I know I wasn’t always myself, except maybe after we broke up. At least, then I knew where I stood! I think that was really the first time that I knew where I stood with him. Although I thought it was a big deal when he finally kissed me (after like 3 months – did I have some disease or something?), and when he put “in a relationship” on Facebook (or did he do that just because I got on Facebook?). It was weird though – he wasn’t shy about telling me about his needs and love language, but when I told him mine – he ran (or swam) the other way. Hmm. Maybe it’s just the mysteries of man. I guess overall, I’ve learned a lot about myself. I think I’m a better person for having known Scott and that is good. I can’t say that about some other guys I’ve dated. Jess asked an interesting question - why did he never see us together at church? I'm not sure. We never drove to church together, and I usually didn't see him. Or I might have gone over. Maybe it was another way to be independent. Or maybe I didn't want to be that visible together at church because of the situation with the guy before Scott. I don't know - but it was an interesting question - one I had thought about before. I've always enjoyed going to church with guys I've dated. I knew Scott went to a different class than I did. If he'd asked me, I would have gone with him, but I'm not sure he wanted me there! It would have seemed like we were really dating.

So here I am again. Single. Old Maid. Content. Challenged. A little down. Honest. Searching. Wondering. I bet my brother-in-law is wondering, “so when are you going to start on the next ex-boyfriend?” :-) John is such a optimist.

Good night.

hey hey

Yeah, I figured you smart bloggers would figure it out. I just didn't feel like writing much more yesterday, so thought I'd just start with that.

I have to say, I've actually gotten bored the last few days. Now, my laundry is totally done, my ironing is done, my house is fairly clean (although I haven't been bored enough to clean the baseboards and dust again), I've picked things up every day. I've read every magazine I have. I had planned to visit Village Creek State Park next Saturday with someone, but since that's out...I was thinking of doing that tomorrow. But it's not fun by myself. I need to find some single friends around here. My best bud Elissa is coming up in a few weeks!!!! AND, she's bringing me a "try-out" cat, Gumbo. If we don't suit, Gumbo will go home with her again. I'm hoping Gumbo & I will suit though - apparently, she's verbal (she likes to be talked to, which would be good practice for me!). If she's affectionate too, then we're all set. And I think that could make me wear my blue tshirt proudly (it says: Tell me again why is it I need a boyfriend?). :-) Here's a picture of Elissa and me in DC - note the beautiful cherry blossoms.

So what happened? in a nutshell - not much. Scott said he just wasn't interested in dating, which I had figured out. When he couldn't tell me why he was dating me, when he stopped calling, when all he emailed were his needs/obstacles, when he didn't ask me to the lake, when he didn't stick around, when he acted like he didn't want to be with me alone...yeah I get the picture. And honestly, though I feel like a loser sometimes, it was probably for the best. We didn't really have that much in common. He's still not sure what he wants to do with his life (me neither) but it almost certainly includes living in Australia, he's way more outgoing & friendly than me (which explains why he's so busy with all his friends and had so little time for me), he hates dating (because he might have to break up with someone!). Now me, I tend to be a bit more optimistic. I look at each one with bright eyes wondering if they will be the one to catch this great fish. :-) They will fall hook, line, and sinker. But, usually, I just swim away. This time, he was just a faster swimmer than me. hahaha. I'm trying to be humorous and upbeat - if you couldn't tell. But I can appreciate the good things - I think I am a better person for having known him. He taught me a lot - to try to more spontaneous, more adventurous, less fearful, more kind, to try new things and ideas, get a different perspective, enjoy the water and the wind in my face, to love quiet sunsets and to marvel at the colors God created. I don't think he got as much from me, but hopefully I gave him some things to think about anyway.

By the way, the title of this post is the line after "another one bites the dust - hey hey, another one bites the dust - heeeeayahayheayheyay." :-) Y'all have a good week-end.

Another one bites the dust......

....as Queen would say. That song has been playing in my head the last few days. Can you guess why?